carburettedbrain

ALL my Ntrance friends are going to love this, er maybe :) “U never address a person by saying Mr. and his first name for Gods sake! Its always Mr.Last name… Do I need to teach you that as well now? God!” He thundered… His wrath rained upon poor old Snehal for the second time in the past two hours. She was white knucled, trembling and mad at the same time! I mean they were all of afraid of him weren’t they? Justin Pitter! QAL, Hitler for others was one of the nicest persons I have worked with. Here are some excerpts from an interview I conducted only recently… DS: Mr.P how does life do u then? JP: It does me like it does u don’t it boy? DS: Do u miss the old days at Ntrance? JP: Course I do, I miss all the fun and the lovely people (sniggers) I spent some of my most memorable days in Helpline, and met some brilliant people as well, take u for instance! DS: Praise from JP? What’s the catch there Mr.? JP: No catch, good mood today, the vodka was exceptional tonight.. DS: Aah, so now w...

If your indian and speak any other language other than english as ur first language, which you probably do, and you have either a mother, grandmother, sister, or any such relative at home and like most indian homes if you have just one TV in ur home, ur going to know exactly what I am talking about. You have been subjected to emotional and mental torture from watching soaps in a vernacular language on prime time television..and therein lies the problem. To start with all of them are either family oriented soaps or dance shows, the comedy thingys are passe as of now; thankfully they were really getting on my nerves. So tell me who wears sarees worth 50 grand and gold worth 5 lacs when they're at home? Well lets overlook that.. and come to the actual soaps.. The plot almost always has to involve 2 women in conflict over either property, husbands, wealth, revenge, any or all of the above in not necessarily that order. The pace at which these serials r...

I, recently having tricked someone into employing me, am going to get paid for my efforts. Hence I find the need to open an account in a bank. I have a wide choice of 2 banks to open an account with, namely HDFC and Axis bank. Excellent. Since I tend to run as far away from any geometrical sounding terms, naturally I shirked away from Axis and went in for the other choice. That is where it all began. How hard can it be to get yourself a silly piece of paper called an “ account opening form ?” Well the answer is Very with a capital V! My poor mum was the first person to have unsuccessfully tried to acquire the said form; she came back flustered not having remembered the name and address of my company. And hence I was personally required to get short leave and get myself a form. Fair enough, I did so at the next opportunity I got. Asked my HR executive where the nearest HDFC bank outlet was and I was on my way. Alas I was informed that the systems in the bank were down and ...

4/5 new cars bought in India are hatchbacks. No surprises there. 5 doors, Great packaging, easy to drive, more importantly easier on the pocket, simple to park and generally a hassle free way of put putting about. But nothing exciting really. Nothing that will make the 12 year old inside you sit up and take notice. Bread and butter in other words. No Mozzarella Cheese here. I wonder why. If Merc and BMW can manage to sell a few thousand units every month, surely car manufacturers like Suzuki and VW and Ford can manage to get rid of a few hundred hot hatches here can’t they? Why don’t we get say the new Fiesta, or the Golf GTI or even the 3 door Suzuki Swift that sells in Europe ? Someone somewhere has to realize that Indian customers are finally waking up to quality products priced appropriately are a better buy then your cheap and cheerful goods that need to be chucked outta the window once every couple of years. Imagine the Scirocco being sold here alongside the Fabia...

Cut your Fuel bills by upto 40%! Here is how.. Now I ain’t exactly what u call a nature freak, an environmentalist or a miser(debatable that one) when it comes to motoring, however I always end up getting more out of every drop of fuel than the joe average. No I don’t drive at 38.58kmph all the time which is incidently the speed recommended by my bike manufacturer for the optimum fuel efficiency , nor do I drive so slowly that I end up leading a procession of sorts behind me . All I do is follow a few simple rules to ensure that I get the best bang out of my buck when it comes to fuel. U could end up saving as much as Rs3000/- per annum on your fuel bills if u drive a car, and a third of that if u ride a bike should choose to follow these simple practices. 1. Tire pressure check: The most overlooked bit in the history of motoring. Not only do the tires carry your car or bike’s weight, that little cushion of air is also responsible for your safety. The best thing to do is...

If you live in Pune, or anywhere in India for that matter you may have come across dozens of people who flout traffic rules, park haphazardly, or drive or ride with a complete disregard to their own wellbeing or the safety of pedestrians and other road users. Tell you what, I have an ingenious plan to get rid of all the people in my city who either drive badly, park badly, violate traffic rules and generally piss you off. Here is how I plan to go about it. Step 1:We start a fund to support this drive. Step 2:We buy me an old T72B Russian Made battle tank. Step 3:I either bulldoze/flatten or use my bazooka to get people to comply. Its going to work, trust me. And this is the best solution, well apart from having the Italian Mafia marksmen shoot them down on all days excepts Tuesday if it happens to be the 29 of any month, however its not going to be as entertaining while dealing with the problem. Be it the student cyclist or the bloke on the motorcycle, the cute girl on her scooty, ev...

Whats common in the following Le Mans Winners since 2005, fastest land speed record holder of 563kmph, and the latest Lamborghini Estoque all are Diesel powered. The fuel of Satan is taking over the world and purists and connoisseurs are helpless! Traditionally all cars ran on petrol and ungainly and heavy things like buses and lorries and trains used Diesel for propulsion. But now even the little city cars are running on diesel. Whats the world coming to eh? Is this a good thing or a bad thing then? Don't ask me, cause I don't know myself. But even the Astons and the Lambos of the world are looking at diesels as an alternative to petrol. this can of course mean on thing, the world is going to end! While the inventors of the petrol engine sat back and rested on their posteriors, the guys who made the diesels have been scratching their heads ever since and have come up with a plethora of newbies. Common rail technology, particulate filters, selective catalytic conv...